It is all getting so hard

I am feeling down and zoned out a lot. I feel terrible and these are the reasons why:
*Mrs Bowbyes left
-Have no counsellor at the moment
-Won’t get another permanent counsellor until Term 4
-Understood me
-Had nearly weekly visits for most of the term
*Forced to quit
-Cut my wrists the night Dad said that
-Ground up is my safe Haven
-Nothing bad can happen to me there
*Couldn’t go to eclipse
-Wanted to be with Mum and Mitchy
-I looked forward to that all day
-People treat it like a joke
-I cried so hard I almost threw up
*Terrible report
-Feel like a failure
*Kyle and I aren’t working out
-I am going to dump him
*Having nightmares
-People are dying and screaming
-Laughing all around me
-I scream until all the breath leaves my body and I watch myself die
*Friends from class are all fighting
-Sam feels alone
-I am excluded
-Everyone is separating into little groups and it is bringing us all down
*Feel lonely at school
-Form class are fighting
-Christina ditches me
-Fern is only nice when it suits her
-Vanessa is controlling of Amara
*I’m zoned out
-Can’t keep track of days or times
-Constant headaches
-I feel like I am drifting
*My emotions are building up inside
-Want to scream
-Punched a brick wall over and over
-I was going to walk away from home to try and clear my head
-Cry myself to sleep
-I cry a lot and I hate feeling weak
*Food doesn’t interest me anymore
-I eat out of habit and it disgusts me
*I feel babyish around Bianca and Krista
-Talk in the 3rd person
-They want to watch toy story
*I want to sleep until my problems are all solved
*Dad thinks he is a comedian
-I need someone serious to talk to
*I am bored easily
-I don’t want to play on Facebook or watch TV
-I can’t concentrate on reading
-I have too much time to think